How To Tackle Black Friday Like A Pro... And How It Can Go Terribly Wrong!

Black Friday is one of the most wonderful, stressful, fabulous terrifying days of the year. It can go one of  two ways, you can completely loose your head, running round like a mad woman, trying to read sale tickets through blood, sweat and tears. OR you can glide through the shop floors, composed and fabulous. Here is my guide to crushing Black Friday like a pro and some terrifying pictures of what could happen if you ignore this crucial advice. Hope it gives you some giggles!

1. LIST, LIST, LIST!!

At some point before the big day it's crucial you make some lists of exactly what you need, be it Christmas presents or party dresses, write it down! That way you'll cruise through the shops, stress free , knowing exactly what you're there for. Otherwise you might find that you grab EVERYTHING with a sale tag, stuff you just don't need, or even want! Plus there's nothing more stressful than carrying round thousands of clothes at once!

2. NIGHT BEFORE BEAUTY REGIME

Make sure you spend some time the night before, taking care of your skin. That way you'll have no last minute break outs and can ensure that on the day you can stick to  light makeup, instead of waking up in a panic, trying to cover your stress face and ending up looking like a mess, a stressed out tired little mess looking for a Christmas bargain

3. GET A GOOD NIGHTS SLEEP

PUT THE NETFLIX AWAY! Set that alarm and get an early night, you'll wake up fresh and ready to go in comparison to a Gossip Girl zombie.

4. SENSIBLE HAIR

Although long, flowing locks always looks fab, sometimes, it's just not practical. With a handful of shopping bags you can't afford to keep sorting your barnet out, so be sensible and whip it up! The alternative is trying to navigate your way through the sale with hair in your eyes... I'M BLINDDDD!

5. STICK TO LIGHT LAYERS

I know it's November and we're all meant to be wearing 28 layers a time, but it's a known fact that shops are always far too hot, now add in 10,000 screaming customers barging you left, right and centre and you're just gonna be a hot mess. To avoid this... unfortunateness, stick to light layers, leaving you looking cool, calm and collected instead of hot, hangry and horrible.

And there you have it! So get out there a grab Black Friday by the balls. You'll be able to stroll around like Blair Waldorf, Queen of the department store! Enjoy Queen's hope this gave you some laughs!

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Your Disastrous Guide To Majorca!

If you follow me on Instagram you would've seen my somewhat recent Majorca spamming, or perhaps you caught my 'How To Accessorise At The Beach' blog post. Each of these portrayed my Spanish adventure as fabulous and beautiful. However... it was all lies.  While of course our surroundings were gorgeous, myself and Lucy Lu (best travel buddy) barely escaped alive! Yeah ok, I'm a bit dramatic but compared to some of our other more glam trips, this one was a distant, distant cry! So I thought if I shared each disastrous thing that occurred to us it might allow you to prevent yourself from similar tragic holiday faux pars. Or failing that it'll give you a good laugh! Nothing better than laughing at others misfortunes let's not lie!

The Boat Trip From Hell

Me and Luce had booked this cute glass bottomed boat online, where they'd set an idyllic scene- gorgeous views, relaxing waves and a chance to grab some food. Fab! Oh how wrong we were! After hopping onto the deck filled with optimism (and breakfast) we set sail. All started well enough, ignoring the fact that during our swim stop Lucy literally slipped and belly flopped off the edge, safe to say I nearly drowned with laughter. As we set sail again, the waves began... they came flying at us hard. We sat in dead silence trying to ignore the fact that we were probably gonna die, or at least loose that breakfast, all the while they blared this random David Bowie playlist in our ears and sent round professional photographers to capture our joy! Suddenly it was like everyone decided all at once they needed to throw up, it's just a shame there was ONE toilet on board. Basically after plenty of scurrying around I end up being sick off the side of this huge boat while Lucy stands naked (negatives of wearing a one-piece) in the toilet cubical getting flung from side to side. Eventually we reunited like Jack and Rose on the Titanic (but without the romantic love story and instead 2 pals stumbling along with sick in their beach waves) We decided to frantically jump ship at the next dock, completely unaware of where we were! We practically crawled to a cab then spent the next two hours in our hotel munching Lays to get over the whole ordeal, we still giggle about it now. So if you're planning a boat trip in Majorca maybe check the weather first!

The Very Hangry Coach Journey

After landing in a new country everyone gets that itch to get to where they're staying ASAP yeah? WELL Lucy Lu booked us a coach to our hotel which should've been fine. What she neglected to mention was that the journey would be OVER 2 HOURS LONG. So long that we even had to park up and swap coaches! This was during the evening, or better known as, dinner time... DINNER TIME. So we were hot, tired and most importantly I was hangry which meant poor Lucy had to whack away my aggressive slams like tennis balls while offering me fruity polos in replacement for the Spanish meal we'd been dreaming of. SORRY QUEEN. So if you've got the choice make sure you're situated near the airport, of failing that PACK SNACKS! 

The Hotel? Well...They Tried!

We booked our trip to Majorca pretty last minute, while I was in the garage waiting for my car to be serviced! Basically our research was limited and our budget was small. So really it shouldn't have come as a surprise that the hotel was... well it was one step up from a third world country! The staff were optimistic bless them but our floors were wet from the broken air conditioning, the shower was so small I bruised my elbows on the walls trying to wash my hair and you could take a piss, brush your teeth at the same time! (NOT that we did!) But all wasn't lost since as Lucy kept pointing out the pillows did match the curtains... sort of! Oh and our complimentary breakfast? In a café across the road, a basket of bread! Couldn't stop giggling!

When It Rained It Poured

Since we were only in Majorca for 3 days, constant sunshine might've been some light on our dreary situation. BUT NAY. On our last day we set an alarm, got my beachy accessories on and headed out of our little disaster of a room. Only to find... rain, a monsoon of a downpour, but ever the optimist Luce insisted we head to the beach, lilo above us both for cover while she swam in a stormy sea, leaving me on a deserted, wet sad little beach. Hair was still wet on our plane home! So if the weather doesn't go to plan on your next trip have an INDOOR back up plan at the ready.

So that was our little disaster trip, everything that could've gone wrong did! But nonetheless we had such a laugh I'd change nothing about it, thanks again Luce for a less than fabulous adventure, where next?!

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